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Category: Uncategorized

Playing Safe On The Internet – Don’t Get Catfished

Posted on September 22, 2017 in Uncategorized

Catfishing has been in the news a lot lately. The reality is that dating on-line is a great way to initially meet someone but how do you know if they are real? There comes a point and it should be long before your on-line connection goes on for a year or 2 when you need to verify that who you are talking to is indeed who they say they are.

If you are using a dating website, they all have security to protect their users, it is there for a good reason. If someone asks you to go outside of the sites methods of contact, as in send me your phone number so we can text instead of spending money, odds are good they are scamming. What are they doing on the site if they can’t afford to spend a few dollars to pursue a relationship? In some cases the sites are free in which case there is no reason to go outside their contact system.

Don’t give out your phone number until you verify that someone is “real”.

The easiest way to weed out the lazy fishers is to ask for a video chat. Scammers can send you pictures but they can’t fake what they look like on an on-line video chat. Scammers will come up with all sorts of excuses on why they can’t video. I have done a lot of travelling in countries like Bolivia, Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, in all of these countries there are internet cafes & they all have cameras on the computers, they are very cheap to use, less than $1.00 an hour. There are very few places in the world where someone would not be able to access a computer with a camera. If someone can contact you via the Internet and text they can do a video chat.

I am always amazed when I hear about people giving money to people they have never met. I don’t give money to my family members, no way I would give it to a stranger who’s only contact has been via the Internet. This is a total red flag! People can ask for money without really asking, you know the “My car broke down, wish I could afford to fix it, won’t be able to make my job interview next week”. Don’t fall for it, anyone who is legitimately looking for a relationship will not ask you for money or hint that you should give it to them. You don’t know this person, it is not your responsibility to take care of them. These people will make it sound like you are the only one who can “save” them to bring out the protector we all have in us, they know how to play people to get what they want.

If you have chatted with someone online and they are immediately complimenting you & telling you how crazy they are about you.. Things are off. The people who scam need to get you into the loop fast, time is money to them. No one who is looking for a real relationship will behave this way. They will want to get to know you and build a foundation before they decide if you are what they are looking for. Imagine if in the real world you went on 2 dates with someone and they started talking about marriage and sharing finances.. You would get a restraining order and put them in the stalker pile never to be seen again.

Keep in mind that scammers are very good at what they do. They can come up with a million excuses and with rose colored glasses firmly in place many people fall for them. Your safest bet is to trust no one until they prove to you that they are who they say they are. If someone cares about you and really wants to have a relationship with you they will understand why you are cautious and in fact your safety, comfort and welfare should be one of their main priorities.

Simple Tips to Get You Through Online Dating

Posted on September 21, 2017 in Uncategorized

I think that the pros of online dating is as I have experienced them include the fact that you can scroll through the people that you want and do not want. Although people lie, it takes some of the guess work out of things about them. If you have a list of what type of man you want, you can quickly eliminate people based off of the answers to some of their questions. For example, if you want someone who has a college education, who is a Christian, who has a decent job, then you can rule out the profiles that say they are non-religious and unemployed. If they are proud of themselves and what they do, then more than likely they are going to be open and list these things.

I can recall one man that I meant online. He wanted me to give him my number. Upon viewing his profile I found that many things were blank, his education, employment, kids, I mean almost everything. What is the big secret? So I kindly asked him what he did for a living. He actively avoided my question several times. I decided to ask him one more time and he told me I was either going to give him my number or I wasn’t. I chose not to. At the end of the day what is the big secret that you cannot tell me where you work, what you do, or what type of field you are in. What are you a drug dealer? This is not like I am asking you classified information. So be wary of people that do not want to tell you anything about themselves. They could either be married or losers, perhaps even a combination of both. What is the point of creating an online profile if everything on it is blank?

Also be wary of people who do not have a picture. If you are on a site looking for love, then a person should not want to be super secretive. How are you going to expect anyone to want to talk to you if you do not have a picture? Most, if not all dating sites you cannot search other members unless you are a member yourself. So they cannot say they are afraid of who will see them. The same person that is seeing them is a member them self. If they do not want to put a picture up, I fear that are hiding something, mainly their wife or girlfriend who they don’t want to find out that they are on the site.

If you asked them to send you a picture and you do not like what you see, then what? Is it this awkward moment where you are just not going to respond back. I just feel like people who do not put a picture have something to hide. In this day and age people put their picture on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, so what is the big deal about putting it on a dating site. Also be wary of people who only put one picture. They should have several. If you have ever watched the show Catfish, then you know how people can pretend to be other people online. A quick way to ensure that they are the right person is to see multiple pictures of them in different settings. To make sure that it is them.

The last advice that I can give to you in regards to online dating. Is to try paid over free. It is my opinion and experience that if it is a paid site you can have more success and know people are more serious. Why else would they waste their money. I think that you will have more luck on the paid sites and know that they are more prepared for love.

How Long Should I Wait Before Meeting My Online Date for the First Time?

Posted on September 19, 2017 in Uncategorized

There is no sense in communicating with someone endlessly, talking on the phone for hours and days, if you can just as easily do so in person to find out if you like each other.

Therefore, you should try to meet up with someone you’re interested in as soon as possible. In other words, within 2 weeks of striking up conversation.

This prevents several things.

Don’t Waste Your Time

First, it prevents you from wasting your time on someone with whom you have no chemistry. Let’s say you spend several days and even weeks texting, or otherwise communicating with each other, not in person.

Let’s say you finally meet, and – woops! – there’s no chemistry there for you. Talk about a let down! Here you’ve built up this person, thinking your first date would culminate in fireworks, because of how fun it was to chat back and forth.

Instead, he was a dud, and you realize now that you aren’t very much interested in communicating with him going forward. Next!

Who Is This Person, Anyway?

Another reason why communicating too much before a first date is bad is because you don’t really know with whom you’re communicating – is this person really who he says he is?

You may have heard of the term “catfish” lately. The definition of a catfish is someone who claims to be one thing online but is someone completely different in real life.

Examples of catfish are gay/questioning women posing as men, or gay/questioning men posing as women, attempting to attract someone of their same sex, but without being honest about their own gender or sexual orientation.

Some catfish are the gender they say they are, but are stealing other people’s social media photos, and passing them off as their own.

Other examples of catfish are foreign men in developing countries who sit at an internet cafe all day, pretending to be the kind of person someone is looking for, and somehow managing to swindle vulnerable people (often older folks) out of hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars, using emotional and romantic manipulation.

Hopefully, you never come across a catfish. But the best way to combat this trap is to ensure you meet your new potential love interest in person as soon as possible.

Beware Excuses

If you’ve tried more than once to meet up with your date, and the excuses seem to keep on coming, just give up. He or she is either a catfish, or just not that interested in starting a relationship.

You are free to move on!

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